While I could list so many things for my answer, this week God has really been highlighting one word (two actually) that sums it ALL up.
SIN, and specifically selfishness. I am a sinner. I am incredibly selfish everyday.
My 1 1/2 year old son is so needy. The house is never clean though I am always cleaning. My husband needs time. And I just worked 40 hours even though I am a part time employee. Sound familiar? Why can’t I take 5 minutes? Why can’t I pray or read or visit Facebook or Pinterest without my son jumping on me yelling “Melmo!” Or while playing with his toy vacuum cleaner insisting that I stop what I am doing every 30 seconds to say “vacuum” before he can continue? Why, after a full day of work and play, do the dishes need to be washed and toys picked up?
Stop. Before I continue, I need to say that time to yourself is VERY important. It isn’t an option. But I live in a sinful body that tries to rule me. So do you. I find myself demanding that precious time and wanting to act like my toddler when he has a tantrum when I don’t get what I want. I find myself not satisfied with and grateful for a rare quiet bathroom break or a chore free nap time so that I can nap or read of do whatever I want. I find myself demanding more.
So, I don’t take “me” times. It can’t be about me. It has to be ALL about God. My flesh tells me that that is extreme. God loves me and wants me to be happy. True, but it can’t be about me.
I take rest times. When you Aron an airplane the flight attendant tells you that in an emergency to put your oxygen mask on first and then help the person next to you. Have you heard that analogy before? I rest so that I can help my family. I rest so that I can serve God. I rest so that I can be sane again. Haha!
Do you see the mindset change? Me times make me focus on myself and turn me back into a tantrum throwing toddler. Rest times make me focus on why I am taking them.
Slow down. Take a deep breath; breath in the Holy Spirit so that you can go again. Not so that you can feel like an adult again. Not so that you can be entertained by something other than Melmo or The Wheels On the Bus.
None of these things are bad in themselves, but when I give selfishness an inch it takes a mile. Just rest because you need it. Keep it simple. I am finding how much relying on the Holy Spirit in everything changes everything.